Trust is foundational to any relationship, but if the marriage relationship is to be healthy, trust is marriage must be top priority. If you missed last week’s post “13 Things Your Spouse Won’t Tell You” you can read it here.
Today though, we’re going to talk about ways you can begin to restore trust in your marriage once you realize that it has been broken. And even if you have a great marriage, there is always room for improvement.
Here are 13 ways to build more trust in your marriage:
- Speak the words, “Spouse’s Name. I love you,” as often as you can. (Proverbs 16:23-24)
- Plan your schedules together, making dates and/or “alone time” a priority. (1 Corinthians 13:5)
- Share details from your day, and be willing to listen to details of your spouse’s day. Ask his/her opinion on projects, problems, scheduling, etc.
- Leave your work at work. Do your best to be present mentally wherever you are present in body. If at home, be all there. If at work, be all there. Your spouse will appreciate it and feel like home/family life is a priority.
- Make it a point to compliment your spouse on the things they do well. If you look hard enough you can find at least one thing to compliment in anyone. Use the 20 to 1 rule: 20 positive comments for every negative one. Knowing/feeling that you value them now will help your spouse to trust you more later when you have reason to point out a weaknesses. (Ecclesiastes 10:12)
- Listen. Listen. Listen. Do it with your eyes and your heart as well as your ears. Be responsive, but don’t try to control the conversation or dismiss it as nothing. Perhaps it would help to find out early on, “Is this something you want me to fix?” or “Do you want my help or opinion on this?” Listen to their answer and act accordingly. Your spouse needs to know you can be trusted to take seriously his/her concerns, fears, and frustrations without judgement. (Proverbs 29:11)
- Look for ways to enjoy time together. To laugh together. To make the other smile. (Proverbs 5:18)