What kind of priorities do you have in regards to your husband?
There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. (I Corinthians 7:34)
When I sat down to think about how to make my husband a priority in my life, these are the primary evaluation questions I came up with:
1. Am I making him look good?
This could be something as simple as making sure his clothes match and are ironed when he goes out in public. It could mean keeping my house as presentable as possible during the day in case he pops in with someone unexpectedly or we get an unexpected visitor. It could mean not correcting him in public (ouch!) It does mean being sweet with others even when I don’t feel like it. Have you ever met someone and thought “Man, he was really nice, but his wife was kind of snippy, stuck up, frumpy (you fill in the blank).”? In addition to what I do for my husband, my attire, my speech, my spirit, my character, my attitudes are all a reflection on him. Those impressions can make or break someone else’s opinion of my man.
2. Am I helping him?
What is it he is trying to do in life? Am I helping him meet his goals? Am I helping him towards or hindering him from his dreams? Are there certain things he wants or needs me to do for him today? I was created by God to be his helpmeet after all, not the other way around.
3. Do I defer to him?
Who has the last word at my house? It may be rare that we disagree, but when it happens am I content for him to make the final decision, even when I may not agree? Deference is an honor for his position. God has placed him over me, for my own protection. I must honor him and respect his decisions, even when I vote “opposed”. I must also determine not to rub it in or say “I told you so” if there are bad results from his decisions.
4. Do I show him respect?
If he is not the best man on earth, then why in the world did I marry him? Now that we are married. He is God’s best man for me, and I must believe that and respect his position as well as his person. Verbally. He needs to know how incredible I think he is. He needs to hear it from me directly, hear me tell our children, find out that I bragged about him to some extended family member or neighbor. I must make sure there is no doubt in his mind that I love him above all others and that I think he is great. He needs me to be his biggest fan – for life. Focus-ly. I must show respect for him by listening actively, but putting his needs before my own or those of the children. He must know he is the most important to me.
5. Does He think so?
It’s not enough to make him look good, help him, defer to him, & respect him if I am not communicating the message that he is a priority in my life. Perhaps I need quality time to feel loved, but he may understand love only when shown a different way. What good is a latin love letter if the recipient only speaks German? I must learn to speak his love languages, and then I must excel at it.
Having priorities is a good thing, but worthless if we never follow through. I must decide daily that with God’s help I will make my husband a priority today. What are some of the ways you make your husband a priority? I’d love to hear them.
Other posts in this series:
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