Today’s guest post is for you if you feel like you don’t belong on Mother’s Day. My prayer, and that of my friend April, is that you will be encouraged and that this year Mother’s Day may be brighter for you. Hugs!
Who feels like she doesn’t belong on Mother’s Day…
I feel that way every Mother’s Day.
Avoiding social media, church, and other reminders of Mother’s Day has become my routine.
I am not saying people should stop honoring mothers, especially at church. God has given mothers such great responsibility and most do an exceptional job.
For me, Mother’s Day is very difficult.
Don’t Belong on Mother’s Day
For most Mother’s Day is a reminder of the relationship they had with their mother, children they have birthed, or children they have fostered or adopted.
For me it is a reminder of the broken relationship I have with my birth mother, nine years of infertility, and the feeling that I am not part of the club.
I would like those who have a tough time on Mother’s Day to know that God knows and loves us fully. We are complete in Him, even without children.
My Mother’s Day routine is different now that I understand that and Mother’s Day is a little easier to deal with.
A Different Mother’s Day
I start my Mother’s Day being thankful for what I have. I have a wonderful husband that loves me. I have a home. I have women in my life who have kind of filled the Mother sized hole in my heart.
Be thankful for whatever God has given you in your current situation.
Philippians 4:11-13 says, “Not that I speak in respect of want; for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.”
I try not to compare myself to others. My journey is my own and after meeting a few older, wiser infertile women past their child bearing years I have realized it will get better.
My husband and I celebrate Mother’s Day privately.
Though not everyone sees me as a mother, my husband does. I am the future mother of any and all children we might have. I had a early miscarriage, so I consider myself a mother. I have a mothering personality. I did everything I could think of to achieve pregnancy. That is exhausting and certainly deserves being celebrated. Most moms just have to think about getting pregnant, and they are. Women with infertility issues spend countless hours educating themselves, temping, visiting doctors, and sometimes getting painful medical treatments. My husband and I might not do a lot to celebrate, but we celebrate. My husband might make me a romantic dinner. He might buy me a card to encourage me. I may go to church this Mother’s Day. My church honors the mothers like most do, but they don’t overdo it.
On Mother’s Day I reach out to all my friends who find Mother’s difficult. Maybe they are struggling with infertility, maybe their mother has passed away, maybe their relationship with their mother is broken, maybe they have miscarried, maybe their child has passed on, or maybe they are not even married yet but still have a great desire to be a mom.
Reaching out to encourage others always lifts my spirit. I let my friends know they are not alone and I am around if they need a shoulder to cry on, someone to pray with, or someone just hang out with. Reaching out to your friends who find Mother’s Day difficult is the best thing you can do for them.
So while you are celebrating all the love you have on Mother’s Day, please share that love with those around you who may be secretly hurting.
April Hammond blogs over at Faith n’ Pixie Dust to encourage and inspire wives and homemakers. She shares devotionals, Christian reviews, frugal living tips, and everyday stories from women who live out their faith. Her journey is changing this year as she and her husband are starting the foster care licensing process. You can also follow her journey at her blog or on Facebook or Pinterest.